Tallying up the Pros and Cons

A guy sitting next to me on the metro today was clipping his fingernails.

If I were a slick liar, I would never have shared that sentence with you since it obviously sounds completely fabricated.

Unfortunately, it was the sad truth of my mid-day metro ride. I have actually seen people do grosser things while on the metro (you can imagine the sort of human emissions to which I am alluding), but at least I could assume those people were very drunk, very sick, or very insane.

The nail-clipper's egregious behavior could not be excused so easily--he seemed to be sober, in good health, and competently functional as far as I could discern.

Well, I will tell you something, France: he was not a good guy for me to run into today. Since my year in Paris is now drawing to a close, many of my thoughts are devoted to the things I will miss about this city and this country. As is inevitable when compiling such lists, my mind also wanders to the antithesis. Thus, I have also been considering the components about living here which I will decidedly NOT miss, the aspects where America is the one who shines.

Pre-metro ride, I had eaten an especially delectable pastry made of croissant dough, slathered in pastry cream, and topped with fresh roasted figs. I thought: GOSH dang it, such a mouth treasure would be hard to come by in the states; how I will miss you, Paris! Then I walked out into the freezing cold, rainy, gray weather and thought: Well chalk one up for team U.S.A., because I defy the sun not to shine in Boston or Charleston for weeks at a time during the month of JULY.

Then I passed the clicheed-yet-true-to-reality numerous cafes where people were sipping cafes, perriers, and dainty glasses of wine, and I thought: Oh, well, you have me there, Paris. I love to just sit and look. Sit, and drink, and read, and look. Nothing better than just soaking up life and having a good think without being worried about being shooed away or harassed by waiters needing tips from actual consuming customers. But then I was practically trampled by the people shoving their way onto my metro car as I tried to exit it (you know the drill--I have written about that deplorable habit in full detail), and I thought: Oh, to be around American people who have manners again will be so nice!

In case you were not keeping score: the game was tied at this point.

So then I hopped/aggressively shoved myself onto the second metro car and sat down and peacefully read for a few stops. Then HE got on and sat next to me. At first he seemed innocuous and inconsequential--ideal qualities for stranger traveling mates to embody. Then, just when the car had become really crowded, the un-hygienic public personal hygiene activity started taking place.

And America wins by default in today's round of "Which Country is Better?"

I am not saying that this inappropriate behavior was indicative of Parisians, or of behavior exhibited by the French. In fact, I am not even certain this fellow/troglodyte was French. But the affair did cloud my judgment and made me think: Oh, goodness, to be back in America, where people know better!

Also, I am excited to go "home" because then I can stop worrying that MY every activity is being scrutinized and branded as behavior indicative of my countryfolk. Like if I drink my water or wine too quickly: "Oh, you Americans! Always glug, glug, glug." Or if I smile at the baker and she glowers at me for being such an imbecile as to be smiling without a reason...smiling like a vacuous lil' American! Or when I make a silly error in simple conversation en Francais and then instantly panic that I am lending credence to stereotypes of American ethnocentrism. Or when I go to the gym in my gym clothes and worry that I am perpetuating the idea that all Americans are slobs who wear sweats 24/7.

It is exhausting being an unoffical, unappointed, and ineffectual ambassador for my country.

But I do wonder how many times I have done something mindless, silly, or just plain stupid and had someone walk away from me, making a gross generalization like: "Oh, those Americans! What nitwits!" based solely on my isolated behavior.

Kind of like when you exit a metro and think: "Ugh, you un-hygienic Frenchies. Keep it in your W.C., s'il vous plait."

Stay tuned for the next go-round in this exciting match.