A Couple Resolutions

My husband and I were on the metro the other day, when a large man stepped on. He cleared his throat loudly, sort of whistled, and then started singing in what my untrained musical ear might call a piddly attempt at a low baritone.

The language in which he began this swan song was unrecognizable to me. It is not so much that I would have failed to figure it out, but more that he really did not give me enough of an opportunity. Rather, he only got a verse or so in before he scrapped the original plan altogether. Instead of continuing on with the operatic number, he started half-singing, half-shouting in English. It was the same verse over and over, a wildly original tune comprised of three words: "Money for me, money for me!" He sang/shouted as he held his hands out to all of us metro-riders in the hopes of gaining some recompense for his "entertainment."

This event was amazing to me. Not due to how I think it represents the sheer audacity of human beings, because that is actually something I have somewhat come to grips with; reality television is responsible for that epiphany. Yet his "show" seemed to me to embody what is wrong with the world in general. Maybe that sounds extreme. But it is 2011, and one of my new year's resolutions is to embrace my proclivity toward extremism.


Another one is to stop being so sarcastic. And you can see how well that is sticking thus far.


By the way, my thoughts that the metro performer was exemplifying the errors of the world in general is not to say that I did not find him amusing. In fact, I laughed aloud at the preposterous brazeness of this man who seemed to be only marginally less tone deaf than me.


I can sing not at all well, by the way.


So here is my issue: I actually enjoy street performers and the like. I applaud the people who set up their guitar cases on the ground in front of them as a sort of jelly jar for money and then play an instrument and sing in the metro/subway/tube stop. In fact, when we were in Madrid, we saw a legititmate band of elderly men, all seriously engaged in the musical number they were performing on what seemed to be an arbitrary street corner. I loved it--what is better than walking around a random corner, and voila! a jazz quartet is having at it in the middle of the day. I enjoy mimes and other strangely-garbed street performers. I love the guys in Venice Beach, CA who listen to hip-hop as they bounce around doing gymnastics and dancing. In St. Germain de Pres, I saw a similar troupe of men who were able to dance in between performing various types of handstands and whilst doing backflips--on a very crowded steet. I love this stuff.


Because these people have talent.


So, talent is something the guy on the metro seriously lacked, at least with regards to what he was showcasing (for all I know he could have been very adept at astronomy or a quite good metal welder, but singing was decidedly not his forte). In Paris, this sort of display is not unusual. There is also a slew of men who bring accordians onto the the metro and then play a tape recorder of someone (presumably not them) singing while they mime playing the accordian along with the tune. Or, occassionally, they will play a few rather ill-timed bars on the thing. Then they walk around sort of aggresively asking for money. What is that? Why would I pay for that cacophany?


But I do not think it is their fault, per say. And this is where the problem of the world at large comes in. What reality television has shown us is that any Joe/Jane can have a show dedicated to him/her and whatever excruciating minutiae that makes up his/her life. By the way, I am not implying that my life is any more fascinating. It isn't, and frankly I never understood why a brand of tuna would call itself Chicken of the Sea either. But I am also not looking for a television show to follow me around as I engage in mild family drama after a few too many glasses of chardonnay. Or when I accidentally hold hands with a foreign grocery clerk. It is just not interesting enough for anyone to pay me for it.


So the guy singing, "Money for me!" on the metro was certainly funny. And I am impressed by his courage: I mean who has the gumption to get on a crowded metro car and just demand money?


But my beef is that had he had talent, it would have been a better thing. And it seems like a rare day that the street performers (like the men in Madrid) are actually worthy of a couple euros. Because nowadays, it seems like everyone suddenly feels like they can be a star, everyone feels like they deserve money, a TV show, etc., just for walking around with a who gives a darn attitude and imaginatively coiffed hair. People think that just by demanding money they have somehow earned it. What is that about? Yet, this attitude seems to have infiltrated the world at large, and I find it to be a shame.

Athough I am admittedly probably being a tad extreme.


But let me just say this: dang those Jersey Shore hooligans, for they have obliterated the need for substantitive entertainment.

So the streets and the metros of Paris are rife with people asking for money for doing nothing. Yes, even this city of amazing cultural opportunity and heightened sophistication is not immune to the reality TV bug. As we enter a new year, I just want to note that I am happy to give a little money away to random entertainers. But you have to entertain me to warrant it. That's another new year's resolution: higher entertainment standards. That said, I hope the singing metro men step it up in 2011.