On-line Outdates

Applying to jobs on-line is a dismal business. I am so disenchanted with the process that I rarely actually apply to anything I find posted in cyberspace. My reasons against doing so are varied, but there are two front-runners I have personally identified which indicate that finding viable employment via the "click/send" method is suspect.

The first con is ironically in direct opposition to the premise of the internet as I understand it, and it is that on-line postings are often quite outdated. One of the appealing aspects of the world wide web is that much of the content available on the internet is impressively available in a "real-time unfolding" manner. An obvious, and possibly controversial example, is that when friends post "status updates" I trust these snippets to be as current as three to five minutes ago, and likely not more than a day old when (and if) I read them. With on-line job postings, the freshness factor is decidedly dubious, and many listings seem to be as stale as last months baguette (not last months loaf of Pepperidge Farm, mind you, because unlike a fresh baguette, that pile of preservatives seemingly has a shelf life of years).

I have applied to a total of three jobs on-line. This seemingly paltry effort is actually not because I lack motivation or desire, but rather because I am selective. And by "selective" I mean I would like to garner employment that I actually enjoy and find to be a mutually beneficial situation. I know: picky, picky me. Of the three, two of them promptly responded to me (which was super nice, gracious, and sort of unexpected) within about two hours. One told me that they were in the process of interviewing finalists and that the application window had been already closed. Apparently, my stellar resume did not inspire them to re-open the proverbial window, but I won't overanalyze that issue lest I lose self-esteem at a time when having it in spades is crucial. A representative from the second job to which I applied reported that the position had been filled, and it sounded like the person who landed the gig was already enrolled in a 401K plan. The third job I only just applied to this morning, so the jury is still out.

Aside from the fact that I feel somewhat foolish sending applications to outdated postings, the second reason I dislike applying to job's on-line is because, much like with my marginal SAT scores, I just do not think people gain a full appreciation for me as a person and employee based on a sheet of paper. My resume and cover letters are fine, but what can anyone ever really tell about another person based on a quasi-formulaic list of euphemisms and creatively-used adjectives? The process is akin to dating; you do not know how well you will click with someone until you are face to face. And, just like dating, the people who are written off based on factual criteria may just be the person of your dreams.

I know this analogy to be true, because I used to be a professional matchmaker (as you might remember), so I am a bit of a subject matter expert. There is a lid for every pot, people.

What I really need to do is network, but long distance networking is sort of difficult, so that will have to wait until next week when I am back in the lowcountry. In the meantime, I would like to officially declare that I despise Monster.com because they grossly misunderstand who I am as a person and what intrinsically motivates me on a professional level: I will not be a sales representative for indeterminate items and no, you cannot lure me in just by promising me outlandish sums of money.

I told you I was picky.