Living in a foreign country is obviously a really interesting intercultural experiment. It is not just that the language, the food, the style, and the habits of people differ from what is my "norm," but there are also so many other ways my being "different" permeates my life here.
For example, yesterday, I went to the grocery store. My husband and I go to this store fairly regularly so we sort of “know” the employees, and there happened to be a new cashier there. After he rang up my purchases, I handed him my money. Whilst doing so, he sort of grabbed my hand and held it for a few seconds.
Ummm, right. So my “normal”/Maggie-in-America reaction would have been to glare at him in admonishment, yank my hand away, and possibly give him a good old-fashioned finger-wagging. I mean hand-holding in this setting is just wholly inappropriate.
Maggie-in-France, however, is a gal I am just getting to know. She just sort of stared at the situation until it ended. Flashing through my head while this was happening: “I do not want to be a rude American, and with my every move I am representing my country, so pulling away would be wrong,” “Maybe this is a normal French thing, like the kissing?” “He is new, maybe this was SOP at his old grocery store cashier job?”and finally, “Why is this creep-o holding my hand, for Pete’s sake?”
In some ways, I feel as though I have turned off my instinctual reactions because I have been trying to be so open-minded and vigilant about embracing my new environs. This approach, obviously, has its benefits, but it also has its drawbacks. I mean, there is no need to be holding hands with stranger cashiers. Ever, anywhere, anyplace.
Life lesson #612. And that one, my friends, was a freebie.
I think it is all about finding the balance between embracing the new and not forgetting the old.
Balance, the squirrely little guy, he seems to pop up everywhere in life and he sure is hard to keep a hold on.
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5 comments:
Sounds like a moment of cross-cultural confusion to me. Either that or he had a good case of the "creepies."
(By the way, I would have loved to see you give a finger wagging to an overly amorous store clerk...)
And...when exactly is your book coming out? I heart your daily musings--even the awkward ones. What I wouldn't give to see the look on your face! :)
As for visiting...Mom and I have talked about visiting in March (Spring Break)or May (whenever). Let me know which area you live in and we'll try to stay in that same arrondisement (sp?).
P.S. I am so glad you're having a lovely time.
Ummm Maggie, in no way, shape, or form was it normal of the cashier to hold your hand. And they critisize Americans for being too touchy or friendly with strangers! Definitely don't get your groceries delivered from that store - wouldn't want this guy to get your address! :)
I love the comments! Thanks guys (girls, actually). Yes, a case of the creepies, I think, Jess. He was a lucky guy that he narrowly escaped teh old finger wag:)
Val, you must visit and thank you so much for all your kind encouragement. Cannot wait to see a Paris...
Ash-Thanks so much for the insider scoop on la vie francaise. No grocery deliveries from that chap, thank you very much. I appreciate all your french advice et en particuliere les suggestions en francais, bien sur!
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