French Help

I had been thinking that my French, while far from perfect, was reasonably adequate. Turns out, it is not.

Proof of this fact came the other night when we went out to eat. The waiter, as he or she usually does, asked if we wanted menus in French or English. As I usually do, I requested French. This small ritual often sets us off on better terms with the servers we encounter. Not always, mind you, but usually. And, personally, this realm of French conversing usually feels fairly comfortable to me. I seem to be able to speak the language of "food" no matter my environs.

Well, I really overestimated myself. Ego, I am telling you: gets you nowhere fast. I made a spectacular disaster of food selections. As in, www.badfrench.com/youorderedwhat?why?

To start things off, I ordered my husband an octopus salad. He, for the record, is not a squid consumer. Does not even like fried calamari, so you can see I was really off the mark. I recognized "basil" "pesto" and "vegetables" out of the description. Since he had requested a simple salad to start, I figured that was right on target. Whoops. So then I ordered myself a different salad. Within this description, I recognized "salad," "mango," and "fig." A salad of mango and fig? Sounds scrumptious.

Except it had large hunks of very rare duck on it. Like duck so rare it ostensibly could have still been quacking.

I realize that many people find rare duck delicious. A lot of those people live in France. But many people from all kinds of backgrounds like rare duck. I am not one of those people.

I am not a vegetarian, and I think I can be pretty adventurous with food. However, I have my limits and rare poultry lies distinctly outside the perimeters of what I deem edible.

Fortunately, I like octopus and my husband likes rare duck. Crisis averted. I did considerably better with the ordering of the main courses (beef and tuna) and of course I ordered dessert perfectly (never one to mess up where my main priorities lie). Still, this whole situation suggested to me that my integration needs to be expedited.

So I found a tutor. His name is Pierre and I am meeting him today.

Wish me "bon chance!"