Moochachkas

I am often disdained and yet not entirely surprised to find out about the endless manners in which people out there are being misled. Hoodwinked, if you will. Personally, I do not strive to enter into any kind of relationship with anyone whosoever where they would ever have reason to feel I had mislead them or misrepresented myself.

Now, I am not disillusioned. I know I am far from perfect. But I will not swindle you. Glad-handling and schmoozing are aspects of life I can easily do without. I feel demeaned and resentful when others try to pull such maneuvers out of their greasy little top-hats.

And, as someone who works quite hard at being authentic and speaking my truth--and in encouraging others to do the same--I find I am becoming sort of allergic to hypocrisy.

All that considered, it is now perhaps needless to say that there are times when the world in general just sort of bums me out.

One example: I just took a teleclass entitled “Simple Steps to Monetize your Blog.” The name of the class led me to believe that what would be entailed would be simple and would pertain to my blog. Such an assumption sounds very reasonable, even in retrospect when things that often seemed initially reasonable, no longer do.

Well, the class did not live up to its, rather straightforward, name. Instead, the advice was convoluted and multi-layered and pertained primarily to websites as opposed to blogs. If/when I am asked for feedback, I might suggest re-naming the class. In keeping with the straightforward sounding title, my suggestion is: “Complicated Ways to Clutter your Website with Advertisements for Junk that No One Actually Needs.”

I felt icky being a part of a conversation about web-advertising. At least, I dislike when I am visiting a place—be it a store, a magazine article, or a website--and find out that at least 50% of why I have been lured there is for my potential as a cash cow. It bugs me.

Sort of like when I read a magazine, say on “Healthy Living” or some other similar topic and they tout all this seemingly viable advice and information in congruence with their central theme, only to also have six pages of advertisements about “DietFuel” or some other heart-attack inducing, unhealthy drug du jour that I can purchase for a low monthly installment. Is it just me, or is the hypocrisy blatant?

I do not like having my intelligence questioned.

It is not even like a special sale where the customer is respectfully targeted because he or she is actually in need/want of the product being peddled. Ideally, I like to believe there is potential for a long-lasting and mutually beneficial relationship, a la the barter system. A good sales relationship, to me, involves a friendship where holiday cards are exchanged. What I really disdain is the current sales model of: “You got $4.60? Great. Let me charge your debit and push you on your way. Thanks for the buck, customer 4011.”

I mean how would you feel, as my devoted reader, when I espouse to be someone who cares about personal fulfillment, finding your best self, wading through the nonsense, etc., and then I throw advertisements at you for how you can order prescription pharmaceutical products or, maybe worse--a Snuggie?

If I like my readers (and I do, by the very nature of you reading what I write), then why would I direct you to junk? Why would I debase myself, and undermine my own credibility--not to mention cloud up the aesthetic appeal of my blog page--with flashing advertisements worthy of the Atlantic City strip?

Frankly, the teleclass, and all this venting it inspired, gave me a headache. I like to blog, in fact it seems pretty neat-o to me that I can write whatever I want on this free virtual journal that “belongs” to me, and then share it with any Tom, Dick, or Harry. The fact that I can just suggest to people to read my blog as opposed to, say, actually having to explain myself in a tete a tete (how 1990) seems like a fairly good return on investment. I do not need to advocate men’s hair growth products as well as a way of making a quick buck or two.

However, living in the world of: “If a little is good, then more must be better" (please go to any movie theater and inquire about a small popcorn for proof of this assertion), it seems that we are always wondering how we can cash in on any and every move we make. In speaking to people about my blog, people often have all kinds of ideas for how I can make money. It is like “Well, hey, you are entertaining people for free. You might as well charge them for it.”

Although that makes me wonder, should I start invoicing my friends after they come over for a drink or dinner?

But I have to say, it felt a bit appealing to explore the idea that I could be receiving checks in the mail for just writing what I was going to write anyway. And that is why I took the class. Yes, I too succumbed to the modern thinking, and I am ashamed.

Hence the headache, I think.

Here is what I would like: I would like people to read my blog because it makes them think. Because it gives them mental fodder and keeps them curious and interested. I would then like a publisher and/or agent to read my blog, and say, “This girl can write. This girl is sort of a mess, yet I find her musings to be compelling and a bit insightful too. I would like to publish her book.” Publisher could then offer me some moochachkas (money) to publish my book.

And then, my friends, my devoted readers, if you want to buy my book you can do so through the appropriate vendor and/or at the appropriate venue. No hoodwinking, no flashing billboards. You will merely be buying what you set out to buy at the place where you set out to buy it, and I will be making money in an ethical and straightforward manner. Voila! Everyone wins.

Until then, you can read my blog for free, with no pressure to buy controversial non-FDC tested drugs…or worse—a Snuggie.